


I whisper I'm lonely

by Faye_Trevelyan_Inquisitor



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:38:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3756457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faye_Trevelyan_Inquisitor/pseuds/Faye_Trevelyan_Inquisitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faye Trevelyan was but a child when she learned she had magic. Rushing to her parents for help, she was, instead, cast into the cold--left to die.<br/>But she had an unlikely savior.<br/>This is the Inquisitor's story.<br/>Mature/explicit warning for language and implied sexual scenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I told you we needed more money! What do you expect me to do, whore myself out?!"  
"I expect some effort on your behalf!"  
"I'm too busy taking care of you sons and daughters! I don't have TIME to make money for you!!"

Faye sat in her room, knees against her chest. They were at it again. The youngest of four, those cerulean eyes went to her older siblings. They were laughing and drowning out the screaming.  
They were used to it.  
Little Faye was only five.

Drawing her knees closer, she pulled the blankets over her head and her hands pressed against her ears. She started speaking softly, trying to smother the screaming from downstairs---but the walls were so thin that Faye heard every word.

Finally deciding that maybe she could do something, Faye slid from under her blanket, dragging her raggedy doll with her. Her older sister and both her older brothers watched her go with a spreading sneer.   
Fumbling down the stairs, Faye knuckled her eyes, wiping the tears away as she reached to push open the door.

"Mommy? Daddy?" She called, seeing both adults look to her.  
"Go back upstairs, Faye."  
"But mommy...."  
"Do as you're told!" Her father snapped and Faye flinched, eyes watering as she looked to the man.  
"Now look what you've done!" Her mother screamed, slapping her father before moving to Faye. She grabbed Faye's wrist and dragged her back upstairs.  
"Mommy....it hurts...." She complained, crying as her mother gripped to her wrist. Her mother pushed open the shared bedroom door and pushed Faye towards the bed.  
"Go to sleep." Faye's mother ordered and Faye whined softly, nodding and curling into her pillow. The door slammed shut and Faye bit her lip before sobbing into her pillow, curling around her doll while holding to her bruised wrist.

Her older siblings snickered and Faye pulled the covers over her head, putting her hands over her ears. She started talking through the tears, mumbling nonesense to herself---wishing for a time when they all could be happy.

~....~

Silence fell after what seemed like hours and Faye sat up, seeing her older siblings had fallen asleep. Looking to the door, she saw the glow from a dying fire and Faye pushed herself from the bed.  
Dragging her doll along with her still, Faye stepped down the stairs as quietly as she could, peeking around the corner to see her father was still awake, nursing a bottle of that smelly liquid.

Easing into the room, Faye reached to rest her hand on her father's, big blue eyes looking up to him. Those brown eyes lowered to her and he sighed, shaking his head and standing to his feet.  
"You mother said to be in bed." He scolded and she bit her lower lip, gaze falling as she nodded.  
"Can I have a story?"  
"Story? You're five. You don't need a story."  
"What about monsters under my bed....?" She asked softly, her gaze never leaving the floor.  
"Monsters?! The onlymonster here is your mother!"  
"....but.....I love mommy...." Rough hands grabbed at her shoulders and Faye gasped, wide eyes looking to the man in front of her.  
"Your mother is a crazy bitch! I'd kill her myself if I could!" Faye felt tears fall down her cheeks as she tried to coil away from her father.  
"....no....."  
"You look just like her! All of you do!" She was back-handed and she fell with a squeal, crying as she cupped her head. "Worthless child! Stop crying, you make me sick!" Faye looked up to her father and something flashed in front of her, sending him flying acoss the room.

Faye's eyes went wide as she stared at her father, seeing him motionless in front of her. And she started to cry even louder.  
Her mother came into the room, tying her gown shut, blinking at Faye's father.  
"Harold?" She called and moved to the man, seeing the charred skin. "What have you done!?" Those accusing eyes turned to Faye and the little girl scrambled backwards. Her mother grabbed at Faye's wrist again, yanking her to her feet and holding her in place. "What did you do?!"  
"I don't know!" Faye cried, trembling as her mother gripped her shoulders.  
"Did you use magic?!"  
"I don't know!!" Faye bawled and her mother dragged her towards the front door. "No---mommy, no! Please---mommy!!"  
"You are not my daughter---no child of mine can use magic! You are the spawn of a Demon!"  
"Mommy---No!!" Bare feet hit the snow as Faye's mother dragged her towards the barn. Faye screamed and struggled against her mother, trying to twist her wrist free. Her mother stopped in front of the barn doors and ripped them open, tossing Faye inside easily.  
"You are not my child."  
"MOMMY!!" Faye rushed to her feet as the barn doors slammed shut in front of Faye, that heavy lock falling into place. Faye pounded on the doors as hard as she could manage before falling to the ground in a heap, crying hard and curling into a tight ball.

There was no warmth here, no blankets, not even a fire. Faye wore nothing but a thin nightgown from her older sister that was two sizes too big and it did nothing to keep the warmth inside.  
Faye trembled, weeping hard as she hugged herself tight, trying to take back the stolen heat from the winter's chill.


	2. Raised with Tragic Crime (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her unlikely savior to the rescue, Faye finds a new friend

Her skin pricked at the icy cold the winter brought, forcing the little girl to curl even tighter. Struggling to keep the chill at bay, Faye brought her hands to her lips, breathing into them.  
Those cerulean eyes tracked up, able to see her breath in the bitter air, drawing a shiver down her spine as she wrapped her arms around her knees to draw the closer to her chest.  
Chewing on her bottom lip, Faye pushed against the door helplessly once more.

"Mommy?" She called, barely able to recognize her own voice, cracked and hoarse due to the winter bite.  
A creak to her left drew those wide eyes left and she screamed when the roof collapsed, a heap of snow falling into the barn. She pushedup against the barn doors even more to shy away from the cold that ripped through her thin sleepgown.

Silver rivers fell down her cheeks as she pressed her palm to the weather worn wood, hearing it creak but not give to her desperate pleas. Onyx curls clung to her cheeks, heavy with the winter frost while those eyes went inside the barn once more. Standing to her bare feet, she shuffled to look up to the hole in the ceiling, fingers gripping to that old doll with a vice-grip. Her hot breath curled in the frozen air before she spoke, pleading for the Maker to save her, for Andraste to rescue her from her fate.

More tears fell down her cheeks as she brought that dirty, disgusting, treasured doll to her face, sobbing into it loudly while her tiny hands curled into the fabric.

"....help me.....someone.....please....save me....." She begged, muffled into her doll before she fell to her side, darkness swallowing her.

But not before something warm was wrapped around her frame, feeling her tiny frame lifted from the snow.

~....~

She wasn't sure how long she had been unconscious, but blue eyes fluttered as she slowly woke. A soft groan left her lips as she blinked awake, vision blurred. She looked around, seeing a fireplace to her left with a large bear hide as a carpet. Another soft noise escaped her lungs and something moved to her right. She gasped at the man who filled her vision, the right side of his face marred hideously with a milky white eye.  
Faye squealed and pulled the covers over her frame, weeping into her knees.

"It's okay....you're safe now...." His voice was surprisingly soft and warm, like Faye's favorite treat----milk and honey filled biscuts that the baker gave her in the village.

Faye peeked out from under the covers, big blue eyes studying him curiously as he smiled warmly at her. Slowly, Faye let those blankets fall as she stared at the man in front of her.  
He was bigger than the bears in her stories, but not as scary.  
She stared at him for a while, that smile never leaving his lips as he watched her. Crawling from under the covers, she slid fro the bed she was in and walked over to the other, looking up at him, that doll still in her hand.

A part of her told her she should be afraid of the man, she was always taught not to trust strangers by her mother.  
At the memory of her family, her eyes welled with tears again an she dropped her doll, both her tiny hands covering her face as she wept loudly.

Large, warm arms lifted her from the ground and wrapped around her gently, holding her against the bear-man's chest as he rocked her.

"It's okay....no one will hurt you again. I'll protect you." Faye stopped crying and pushed back a little, looking to the bear-man, seeing that smile there again. Her bottom lip quivered and she pressed her palm against the man's cheek, rubbing the scars before she wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face into the furs around the man, weeping softly as he rubbed her back gently, chuckling softly as he rocked her. "I'll protect you, don't worry." He soothed softly, listening to her choked sobs eventually die off. "Come on, let's get something in your tummy." He hummed, carrying her to the dining room. He set her down at the table and draped his fur cloak over her shoulders, being much to large for the little girl, she all but vanished in it.He laughed loudly and Faye found she liked his laugh, warm and rumbling----like the thunder that rumbled during a summer storm, promising warm rain for the flowers and fields.  
She smiled up at him and watched as he pulled out some bread and butter, topping it off with fresh honey to glaze. Setting a few slices down on a plate in front of her, he sat back as she devoured each piece.

The man frowned a little and Faye paused with a piece half way to her lips. She looked at the slice before holding it out for him and he shook his head with a smile.

"No, those are for you. I have already eaten." He bid her and Faye smiled before returning to her meal. He watched her finish off her meal quickly and she sat back, humming happily. 

The bear-man stood to his feet and removed her plate, setting it in a sink near the front of the kitchen. Faye slid from the tall chair, taking the fur cloak with her as she followed after him. Her little hand closed around his trousers, holding to him as she looked up. Those soft, auburn eyes fell to her and he smiled, his large hand rubbing the top of her mess of black curls gently.

~....~

Time had passed and Faye had settled in with the bear-man, comfortable here and no longer afraid. He was always there to chase away her nightmares, would check under her bed for monsters and tell the most wonderful stories that left her in a giggling fit.

One of her favorite stories was about how the bear-man saved a princess from a fearsome dragon and that was how he got the scar on the side of his face.

And in falling into her newly found home, she had forgotten all about the fact that she possessed magic.  
Until one very bad night, where the nightmare was vicious and increasingly worse.

She woke screaming, hearing the bear-man come running into her room, throwing open the door and reaching to gather her in his arms. But electricity danced between them and he recoiled, blinking as he looked to her.  
Which only made her cry all the more.

"No....no, it's okay...." He settled on the bed slowly, his hand reaching for hers. Glassy blue hues went to him as he smiled at her soothingly, feeling his arm rub up and down her arm. "It's okay." He repeated and Faye wiped her eyes, crawling across the bed to curl into his chest.  
"I'm sorry..." She breathed and he blinked at her, hearing her voice for the first time.  
"Is that why you were in the barn?"  
"....yes....." She dropped her eyes to the sheets, still holding to the front of his tunic. "...you won't....send me away, will you....?" Her voice was so small, it made the bear-man's heart clench painfully in his chest and he shook his head rapidly.  
"Never." Wide blue eyes went up to him as Faye gasped, her grip tightening on his shirt.  
"Never?"  
"Never." He repeated and Faye wept once more, but happy tears as she threw her arms around his neck. He laughed again and kissed the side of her temple, hugging her tight. "I promised to protect you, little one, and I will."  
"Faye."  
"Faye?" He pulled back and she nodded, smiling at him.  
"Faye." She said again and his large hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing her tears away as she giggled.  
"Faye. It's perfect." He kissed her forehead gently and she hugged him tight. "I will always protect you, Faye."


	3. Dust and Echoes (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magic is a gift.  
> And her curse.  
> She just wanted to be a kid----but it seems Fate had another course for her.

Winter gave way to spring and eventually summer, allowing those locked in shelters to come out and enjoy the warmth of the sun as it cast it's rays over Ferelden.

Faye spent most of her time outside, dancing in the meadow near the cabin where the Bear-man raised her. She made sure to pick new flowers every week to change them out of the vase in the living room.  
The years dragged on and Faye spent each day happily nestled at the base of the mountains, spending every waking second with Bear-man----who she had come to fondly call 'Father.'

And when she wasn't picking flowers and singing horribly off-key, little Faye was practicing her magic under the careful eye of Bear-man, of father. He spoke gently, urging her to try and control it, to use it to help people---help herself.  
It took patience to control her magic, and her father didn't always come away unscathed.   
Which was one of the many reasons why she practiced near a river---just in case an article of clothing caught flame.  
And it happened---more often than little Faye was willing to admit. 

But she practiced hard, she wanted to be better. Wanted to impress her father because that's what all little girls wanted to do. Impress their fathers.  
So she continued to work hard, to listen to her father's advice---though he was no mage, he tried to help as best he could, not wanting her to be afraid of her power, her gift. Always soothing her, promising her that she could help so many people when she was older.

Fire was her strongest power, electricity shortly there after. It was also the most violent and unpredictable. It could twist and turn in ways that water never could. It bit and stung and grabbed hold of anything and everything---and Faye was afraid of it.  
But her father assured her that she could conquer that fear, that she was stronger than it was and would be able to control it in due time.

So, on the days Bear-man had to head into the village to get supplies for them, she ran off deep into the forest. To her secret little hide-out where she practiced on her own.  
No one could disturb her there and she could focus on just her powers, just her magic. She wanted to impress her father, after all.  
Faye always made sure she was back long before he was home, reading a book in front of the fireplace or playing with a set of dolls he had bought her once while in the village.

And today was no different. Bear-man had kissed the top of her head as he left for the village, promising only to be a few hours before he returned with a cake for her and a present.  
It was her birthday, after all.  
Faye beamed and waved as he rode his horse down the trail, vanishing from her line of sight. Faye went back inside, gathered a few things of hers---some herbs that numbed a burn, water in case she lost control and food. She needed all her strength to get control of her magic.

Singing softly, she slung the pack over her shoulder and made her way outside, closing the door to the cabin behind her before heading down her path. It wound up and left, trailing deeper into the forest, near a small creek that babbled through the thick of the woods.  
She set her pack down on the old tree stump and stretched her arms over her head, humming out a soft groan and grinning.  
She would do it---today! She could feel it! Faye would finally get control of her magic and her father would be so impressed!

Faye made her way around the little clearing, wanting to check and make sure there was nothing nearby that would threaten or startle her while she was practicing her magic.  
Once sure there was nothing around, Faye moved to the center of the clearing, holding her little tiny hands out. Her lids fluttered shut and she focused deep within herself, reaching for that feeling. The feeling that terrorized and frightened her. Clawed and bit at her, threatened to drag her into the darkness.  
Faye sucked in a breath and her brows knit together as she fought against her fear, fingers curling a little while she fought to control it.  
There was a warmth in her hand and Faye slowly peeled one eye open, only to laugh and grin wide, watching the little flame dance in her hands.

"I did it!" She laughed, closing her palms together to snuff it. Opening her hands again, Faye reached inside herself again and watched the flame appear once more, that bright smile spreading even wider as she watched.

She turned to show-off to father, and frowned, having forgotten he wasn't there.  
That's okay, she could show him when he came back.

And at the change of her emotions, the flame suddenly spread from her fingers, catching nearby trees on fire. Faye screamed and backed away, watching the fire start to spread rapidly.  
Faye quickly grabbed for the flask she always carried and threw the little bit of water on the flame, but it did nothing to stop the spread.

Faye's eyes started to water as she watched the fire increase in speed and burn the trees, sending birds to the sky and various deer and rams running through the trees.  
Faye ran to the creek, standing in the water as she watched the now wildfire spread through her beloved forest, tears falling down her cheeks.

She had no idea that Bear-man, her father, was galloping back towards the cabin, screaming her name. He rushed inside, throwing the door open as his horse galloped away. All of his things fell to the floor as he shouted for her, calling out her name desperately.  
There was a crunching noise behind him and a tree fell through the roof, blocking off his exit.

Faye had heard him, though distant, she was racing through the wildfire, coughing as she choked on ash, soot and smoke. She pressed her arm over her mouth as she ran, tears streaming down her cheeks due to the smoke.  
When she reached the cabin, she froze, seeing the Bear-man trapped inside the cabin with no way out.

"FATHER!" She cried and started racing to try and get him out. He waved her off.  
"Get somewhere safe!" He shouted and she shook her head, tears blurring her vision.  
"No! I'll get you out!!"  
"Faye!" He scolded, her eyes snapping up to him.   
And he smiled. Warm, soft and kind----like the first time she met him. More tears fell down her cheeks and she shook her head, screaming when another tree snapped and fell over.   
"You have to get to the river. It's the only safe place for you now."  
"....no....father, please....I can get you out....I can!"  
"If you had time, I know you could----but you don't. Sweetie, you need to go."  
".....no...."  
"I love you. And no matter what, I'm so proud of you." Faye screamed at him and shook her head, coughing at the smoke that filled her lungs. He never stopped smiling for her, wanting it to be the last thing she saw of him. "Go." He told her once more and she cupped both hands over her lips, crying and coughing before she ran for the river.

Branches and debris sliced across exposed flesh as she ran, running as fast as she could to get to the river. She leaped into the now black water and stood chest deep, watching the fire burn the forest.  
And everything she loved with it.

~....~

Faye had no idea how long had passed, but eventually the fire died to embers in the ash and she crawled to the bank of the river, trembling as she pulled herself from the waters.  
Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, she made her way slowly through the ashy grave of the once green forest.  
Blood and soot covered exposed skin and she coughed, walking to where the cabin was located.

She stopped just outside the clearing, seeing the cabin in burnt ruins.  
Faye was running before she even realized it, screaming out as she climbed through and over all the broken pieces of wood and metal. She pushed aside everything she could, calling out for her father, tears leaving streaks on ash covered flesh.

Hours passed as night started to fall and Faye coughed all the harder, leaning against the base of a broken support pillar. Sliding down to sit, she buried her face into her knees and wept, trembling at the cold and the pain in her chest.

After a breath, she went back to work, ignoring the splinters and the bleeding cuts all along her body. Pushing aside a small piece of wood, Faye's blue eyes went wide before glassing over with tears.  
She fell against the body of the Bear-man and shook his shirt, trying to wake him up before crying out loud, wailing as she cried until her lungs hitched and her chest hurt.

~....~

It seemed like days as she sat there in the dead, silent forest. In the ruins of what had been the best years of her short life.  
Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she pushed through the ruins, looking for something to take with her, to remember him by.  
She found what looked like a necklace in the charred pieces of colored paper. She picked it up and turned it over in her hand, examining it in the light of the sun.  
"You are my star light, little Faye. And you will forever guide me in my darkest hours." Was inscribed on the inside of the locket and Faye's lower lip trembled with soft sobs.  
She pulled the burnt locket over her head and grabbed the tattered remains of the giant fur cloak, pulling it around her shoulders before she trudged her way to the village.

It took her an hour and a half to get there and people were instantly rushing towards her, asking her if she was okay, if she was hurt. Empty blue eyes looked up and a young man stepped forward, kneeling in front of her.  
He took a wet cloth to her face, washing away the soot and ash, those hazel eyes studying her.

"You're the Woodsman's daughter, aren't you?" She nodded numbly and he stood, ordering food and water for her. Faye took a shuddering, shaky breath before falling to her knees, blue eyes watering once again.  
Hands cupped her cheek and those glassy blue eyes looked up to the man again, watching his lips move-----but she heard nothing. No sound.  
Little fingers reached and cupped the locket around her neck before she pitched forward, startled noises filling the air as she collapsed in the man's arms.

~....~

When Faye woke again, she found all her burns and cuts had been treated and wrapped.  
She pushed herself up, looking around to see she was inside the village's inn, hearing the bustle of people and music. She pushed herself from the bed and looked to see her clothes had been changed into an over sized shirt. She rolled the sleeves up and opened the door, making her way down the stairs.  
Laughter and music filled her ears as she drew closer, but it did nothing to heal the pain in her heart.

She stopped at the base of the stairs and watched all the people talking and dancing, drinking and eating. And it made Faye's eyes grow dark, her gaze lowering to the floor as she started to head back upstairs.

"Hey! The girl is awake!" Someone shouted and she looked over her shoulder, black curls swirling over her shoulder. Several pairs of eyes settled on her before the inn-keeper, the young man from before, was moving to her.  
He held out a piece of bread and a glass of milk for her and she studied the food for a moment before taking the glass and the bread in her hands. Fixing the sleeves again, she shoved them up her arms again and took the slice of bread in her mouth, glass of milk in her hand, her second hand holding to the railing.

She could feel the eyes watch her head back upstairs before she opened the door and closed it behind her. Soft murmurs filled the air and she set the bread and milk on the table next to the bed.

Clothes of various sizes had been set out for her and she opted for the pants and shirt, stepping into them. A little large, but they fit well enough. Finishing her milk and the bread, Faye pulled on the boots given to her and tucked her locket under the new shirt, stepping back out into the hall.  
Faye made her way back down the stairs and eyes fell on her again. She walked through the tavern and headed for the front door, pushing it open.

"Hey! Wait---where are you going? You've barely recovered. Some of those will scar if not treated. Stay here, just for a little while. You're just a kid." The look she gave the inn-keeper spoke of a wisdom far beyond her years. An understanding of loss, guilt, pain and sacrifice. A wisdom no child her age should know.  
He fell silent as those blue eyes studied him before she stepped from the inn and headed down the road.

~....~

Walking for almost two hours, Faye found what she was looking for. She crossed the muddy road and made her way over to the group of armored men, looking up to them. They were in a conversation with a local about the wild-fire and Faye tugged on the hand of one.  
He paused in his sentence and looked down to her.

"What do you need?" He asked her and she held up her hands, a small flame sparking in her palms. They all gasped and looked to each other. One pulled his helmet off, blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail and he knelt in front of her. "How old are you?"  
"Seven."  
"And you are doing this?"  
"Yes. I have magic.....I started the wildfire....I.....lost control....." Her eyes watered and her gaze fell, knuckles wiping at the tears. An armored gauntlet rest on her shoulder and she looked back up to him. "I was....practicing....trying to get better....but I..."  
"It's okay. We'll take care of you now." He told her and she cried into her hands, everything that had happened over the past few days crashing down on top of her.  
She sunk to her knees, weeping into her hands again and the Templar reached, lifting her gently into his arms.  
"We'll teach you so you can never hurt anyone again." He vowed her, those hazel eyes warm and soft.

Similar to the Bear-man she once knew.  
Similar to the man she once called Father.

And she made a promise to herself; To try her hardest----to never hurt another person ever again.


End file.
